Letters
by padfootgurl89
Summary: Harry reads letters sent by Ron Hermione and Remus. Will the letters help Harry deal with the death of his Godfather or will they make it worse. One-shot. no pairings.


**A/N I'm back! This story is set after ootp. Harry has recieved letters from Ron, Hermione and Remus and reads them. This is the first time I've written in first person so I hope you like it. So onto the story! Please review if you have a couple minutes!**

**Letters**

_Harry,_

_Hey mate. Hope the muggles are treating you alright. How are you doing? I know it can't be easy but try to stay strong. Remember that we all lose someone at some point. Mum wants me to tell you that the pain will lessen over time. Dad's calling, I have to go._

_Ron_

'Stay strong?' I thought. 'When I ever done anything else? That's me, Harry Potter the bloody boy-who-lived, always the staying strong. I know you envy me Ron. You envy the fact that I'm famous and can get away with anything.'

'Do you want to know something? I'll tell you anyways. Getting away with everything isn't always a good thing. Sure I managed to get away from the Department of Mysteries without barely a scratch, but at what cost? My Godfather is de-, gone. He's gone and I'm left with a hole inside. '

'Do you want something else? I envy you. Yeah that's right, Harry has-all-the-money-and-fame-he-could-ever-want Potter envies you. How I would love to end a letter with 'Dad's calling'. That's never going to happen. Who am I trying to fool?' I thought laughing bitterly. 'My whole life has been already been planned out and I didn't get a say.'

'How do you like that, Ron? Do you still want to be perfect Harry Potter? Do you still want to be the one that the Wizarding World looks up to? The one that watches everyone you love get killed? Yes everyone loses somebody eventually but not like I do.'

'Why am I even saying this? It's not like you can hear me. Oh well, its better this way. This way you can go on believing that I'm strong and that my life's perfect. Great, one more person to worry about keeping happy. I'll calm down and then respond to your letter.'

'I don't mean to sound mean, but the pain is eating away at me. I would never say any that where anyone I cared about could hear me. At Privit Drive though, I could really care less.' I thought with a sigh.

_Harry,_

_How are you? Oh, that was a stupid question to ask. Of course you're not doing alright. Sirius just died two weeks ago. Try and keep your chin up. I remember feeling horrible after my Grandparents died, but the pain became easier to deal with each day. Mum wants me to go shopping with her so I'll have to write more later._

_Hermione_

'I never let my chin fall. I always keep my chin up, why would I change now? Did you really have to remind me that S-S-Sir-, _He_ left me two weeks ago? Did you think that I wouldn't remember?'

'I wish that everyone would stop telling me that the pain will pass. Maybe for them the pain did pass, but for me it's just getting worse. I wish that they would have to feel what I feel.' I sighed. 'No I don't. I wouldn't even wish this on Malfoy.'

'There it is again. Once more the letter ended because a parent wanted to do something with their kid. If only the biggest problem in my life was having to go shopping with my Mum. Yeah right.'

'Why does everyone keep saying that _He_ is dead? _He's_ not dead. I know that _He's_ just playing a sick Marauder joke on me. _He's_ going to be back any minute thinking that this was the best joke ever.' I try convincing myself.

'Once again I'm saying all of this to thin air. Once again I'll put my friends feeling first.' I think as I pick up the last letter.

_Harry,_

_You need to stop beating yourself up. I know that everyone is telling you to be strong, but I don't want for you to listen to them. Harry you need to grieve. Sirius would have wanted you to move on. Please try. I'm always willing to listen if you want to talk. Remember you're not the only person who lost someone. For once forget about trying to be strong._

_Remus_

'You want me to stop beating myself up? Yeah, that's going to happen. I'll stop beating myself up when Cornelious Fudge becomes a competent Minister of Magic.' I tell myself.

'Do I want to talk? That's a loaded question. Yes I want to talk, but I want to talk to Sirius. I want to tell Sirius that I love him. I want Sirius to know how much him caring about me, meant to me.'

'I want. I want. I'm the only person I think about. Maybe Remus is right. Maybe I should allow myself to grieve. Merlin knows I've tried everything else.'

I look up at the night sky. Every memory I have of Sirius comes flooding into my mind. For the first time I feel the tears starting and let them fall unchecked. For the first time I allow my brain to process the fact that Sirius really is dead.

I cry for several hours. I cry until the tears refuse to fall anymore. I look up at the sky again.

'I miss you so much Sirius.' I whisper. 'But I think that I'm finally ready to talk.'

I search for some blank parchment and my quill. I'm not ready to talk to Ron or Hermione yet, so I start writing a letter to Remus. I'm starting to feel at peace with myself again.

'I think that you're going to be alright kiddo.' Sirius Black thought to himself before passing on.


End file.
